LIVE SEEK FIND

The Highlights of My Intern Years 2007-2009

2009-05-25T12:46:00.000-07:00

my 2nd year DC trip

My Intern memories in summation & in no particular order of importance.

1. Tuesday movie nights at the dollar theatre (2nd yr)

2. Dr. Fleming's classes (1st & 2nd yr)

3. Sarah's 21st b-day root beer kegger (2nd yr)

4. Learning to rely on God (1st & 2nd yr)

5. Becoming an aunt (1st yr)

6. The trip to Lewiston & getting snowed in McCall on our way back (1st yr)

7. My personal match maker unsuccessfully trying to find me a husband. Thanks for trying Dan! (1st & 2nd yr)

8. Afternoon classes with Pastor Mark Francey. Life changing! (2nd yr)

9. My suprise bday party. Best bday ever! (1st yr)

10. The Pranks & The Cops!!! (1st & 2nd yr)

11. Producing for the gcKids Easter Show (2nd yr)

12. Producing for the 1st gcB Wait Night & gcKids Live show (2nd yr)

13. Figure Skating Contest in McCall (1st yr)

14. Seth vs. Wild (2nd yr)

15. Sarah & I in our LOUD mouth moments (1st & 2nd yr)

16. HOW I met George (2nd yr)

17. Settlers of Catan (1st yr)

18. My sobriety check! (1st yr)

19. Jake Lee's classes (1st yr)

20. My daily miracle food provisions! (1st & 2nd yr)

21. Both DC trips

22. China Town DC! "I would rather go to China town than Arlington!" What were we thinking? Here's some advice China town is NOT some magical amazing place like some would believe. (1st yr)

23. Joel's infamous hair cut (2nd yr)

24. Heather Fulfer! I don't really need to expand (1st yr)

25. The Quote Book & how everyone strived to make it in. (1st & 2nd yr)

There are so many other great memories I could probably go on forever but I won't. So I hope you enjoy these pictures instead.

McCall trip 1st year. Sarah, me, Brittany, & Heather

The Ladies! Stephanie W, Sarah, Me, Jessie, Stephanie D, and Laurel

Scott. He has an odd fascination with women's jackets.

What's Next???

2009-05-17T18:57:00.000-07:00

Hey patient readers! Sorry for the long delay in my blogging. Some of you may be curious to know what was holding me back from my wonderful blog. The answer is a lot of different things but mainly my Internship at Capital Christian Center, which is going to end in just a couple of short weeks.

I am currently at that point where I have to make a lot of decisions to make. What's next? Honestly I am not for certain what the next step is but I am really excited to find out. If I only learned one thing from being an intern it would be waiting on God. I am completely reliant on God, which is a good thing & honestly I like it.

So to pose the question again - What are my plans after interns is over? I am not sure yet but I do know this it will be an incredible ride! Job? Travel? College??? Boise? Not Boise? I do not know but I am looking forward to finding out.

Thank you for reading this blog if you would like to pray for me I would appreciate it as I am entering this new phase in life.

My very own Scrabble mascot!

2008-11-26T22:50:00.000-08:00

My family loves scrabble! LOVES IT! I however do NOT share these feelings of love. I NEVER participate when the fam busts out the board I just go straight to the couch for a nap stating "I may as well sleep because it will be more entertaining." In our house if the game is loved enough it will receive a famous mascot. For example Trivial Pursuit is Bobcat Goldthwait do not ask why.

One time my mom and sister took the scrabble board and the mascot, Chris LaDeaux, to the Oregon Coast instead of me. I still hold that against Scrabble.

Then there was the time I was enjoying a nap on the sofa or davino while they were playing and I woke to two grown women hovering over me giggling uncontrollable. I was puzzled and then started yelling "why does my mouth taste funny?" Apparently they got bored while playing, which is understandable, so they decided to torment me by putting vinegar in my mouth. HA ha! I am still laughing. Grrrgh!

Scrabble was always used as a method of torchure. "You behave or we will get out the scrabble game." Today was my 23rd birthday and to my suprise I opened up a scrabble game from my sister. It was just the box filled with various items, but there was one item that really made my night. A mascot for my very own Scrabble game. Shia LaBeouf my middle school crush. *Deep sigh* Call me a sucker for akward looking, curly haired, big nosed, Jewish kids. I could be asking for trouble with that last statement but I can not deny my youth.

"Gone"?!?

2008-11-17T19:38:00.000-08:00

The year was 2003. The season was summer and it was my very last summer break before graduating. My mom and I were in the car driving home from a sunday night church service when suddenly a song came on. Well not too suddenly because the radio was on. Now if the radio had turned on all by itself then their would have been a real suprise element. Really it was a normal radio experience that I am trying to make sound better than it really was. I guess the profound part of this story is that I remember everything about the moment. The conversation, the scenery of the drive, and even the feelings I had.

"GONE, like yesterday is GONE. Like history is GONE. The world keeps spinning on You're going, going GONE. Like summer break is GONE. Like Saturday is GONE Just try and prove me wrong. You pretend like you're immortal (you're immortal)You're immortal (you're immortal)"

It struck me that before I knew it I would be gone. That summer break would be gone, I would be graduating, I would be moving out of my parents house, trying new things, and well be the person I am today. Why am I telling you this story right now. I have a couple of reasons actually. 1. My 23 birthday is in 9 days and birthdays always make me contemplative. 2. I actually heard Gone by switchfoot yesterday which always takes me back to that car ride and the declaration I made "Time may be going, going, gone but I am going to enjoy this moment while I can." Profound for a 17 yr old I know.

Stay tuned I may start rambling about other memory lane nonsense. You as a reader are in a special spot being as it is the month of November. Every November I start to think about odd things like high school years, my crazy fifth grade hair do that resembled a poodle, and my dream of being just like Keri Strug. You never know what I may come up with this year.

ER, SchmER

2008-10-28T20:13:00.000-07:00

"Abdominal pain is also called belly pain." Thank you St. Luke's CareNotes System. You may have missed me this weekend and with good reason I can be a very helpful person to have around. My greatest apologies I give to you, but I was ill. It all hit very suddenly Saturday afternoon and ended with a trip to the ER. No worries though I am doing fine. Here are some minor details if you want to know about what my vomit consisted of or how many times I passed out I can tell you later. This is just a small version of a really long story.

I was suddenly struck with stomach pain Saturday afternoon. My mother's diagnosis was Gallbladder attacks. Thank God that was not the Doctors. After some puking and fainting Monday morning I took one of the most mundane trips in my life. The ER. It was not tv show worthy that is for certain. I laid on a bed for 4 hrs just so they could tell me I have a virus. Well not just for that I was severly dehydrated, hince the passing out. I got an IV, pain killers, and nausea pills. I felt much better after my visit and I am feeling even better now. I expect to be back in class tomorrow morning bright and early for prayer.

Oh by the way, my apologies to Dan and Warren for my incoherent babble Saturday afternoon. I do not remember all of what I was said, but I am certain it was idiotic. Thanks to Dan, Seth, Kenrick, Kate, and Debreanna for covering my normal duties and helping me out when I really needed it. Lastly and most important I am so grateful for God's great grace and healing in my life. I could not have made it through the weekend without it, seriously.

What's that...On your face?

2008-10-21T22:50:00.000-07:00

Today Ethan Grove asked me why I had so many ow eees all over my face. I love it when kids realize I have freckles it makes me happy. I had to explain that they did not hurt, that they are just freckles.

Most kids want to know how I got them. I usually call them angel kisses and say the angels all loved me so much that they came in the middle of the night and gave me kisses when I was a small child. I once had a little girl ask me how she could get the angels to come kiss her. I then felt bad because I realized she would never get freckles because she was too dark. So I covered up by saying sometimes you do not notice when they kiss you. Then I pointed at a mole on her face and told her that was an angel kiss. She felt better about herself. After that point I stopped emphasizing how much love the angels had for me.

My Grandpa told me this little farce when I was little to make me feel better about my fair complexion and it worked. In the words of Jake Lee "some people are doomed to be white!" Thanks Jake it is so true and I would rather be white than tan any day. Maybe?

I talk like...a ?

2008-10-07T14:57:00.000-07:00

As I was spending the day with my sister yesterday an interesting topic of conversation came up and I had a grand revelation. I talk like a man! Apparently there is a little thing called "girl talk" that I had no idea existed until yesterday. My eyes were opened so I have chosen to blog about it hoping that you might have a similar revelation or perhaps you already know this.
It all starts with the stereotypical little girl. Little girls like to play with dolls and tend to view their relationships with other girls as equal. If one female is bosier than the others she is not well received because it is like she is saying she is above the other girls. This is not so with boys they grasp the concept of unequality at a young age possibly because positions are not equal on sports teams. By the way this is speculation and I am not claiming to have all of the answers to the differences between the sexes.
So because there are differences between males and females there are different ways you deliver a message. With most females (once again not true in all cases just look at my sister and I) you need to skirt around the situation instead of coming out and saying it. Of course with males you can just bluntly say what is in your head and for the most part it will be received and processed accordingly. Women tend to hear what you say and overexaggerate it. I am not a man so I may be a little off.
What does this have to do with me? I just now realized when I have something to say I just blurt it out because that is what my family does. I learned my manly talk from my mother and sister. I tend to hurt a lot of girls feelings and I just thought it was because I am a jerk, well I guess I am not I just process things differently. I have always responded better to people who speak bluntly to me so I thought others would too. Not true! Not even close. I am so silly sometimes.
So what is your opinion? Go ahead, like I said this is not some great study done by a great group of scientist at a university. It is maily just speculation from my sister and myself.

Some people don't drive?!

2008-09-30T21:48:00.000-07:00

I just drove a car for the first time in two months. I know what you are thinking that is so strange! How has she been surviving? Well I walk. Yes, that is right folks I use those funny looking little things connected to the end of my legs. Funny concept, huh? Seriously though I walk everywhere I go and everybody's response is always "you walk?!"
I can possibly predict what you are thinking "this girl against cars, she must be green." I assure you I am not. I just do not drive. I sold my car a few months back to my brother to help out with some outstanding debt and it helped a lot. So now I walk and I enjoy it. Sometimes it is annoying but for the most part I have a good time. I spend a lot of time praying and reading.
Walking is normal behavior for people in large cities not so common in rural Idaho. I have seen so many amazing thing while walking, you should try it sometime. I bet you have never seen a fight done entirely in sign language, I have it was spectacular. One time I saw parents teaching their son how to ride a bike. Then there was the time that a couple of little girls thought I was following them and they ran away from me in terror or just joking I still am not certain. No I was not stalking them I was enjoying the book of Micah. There is a really nice older lady that always says hi to me she likes to sit in her driveway. I enjoy the nature a lot like right now I love stepping on crunchy leaves. Sometimes if you are real lucky and you look extra nice people will pay you compliments like a whistle or a woo hoo. People are all too kind. Actually do not take me seriously on that last one I do not appreciate those who yell terrible things at me through their windows. I had to repent after a man whistled at me I wanted to flip him off and it was Christ in me that kept me from fulfilling my wish.
For the most part walking is an enjoyable task. Everyone should walk, well every once in a while.

Me, Myself, and the Metro

2008-09-28T20:43:00.001-07:00

Idaho does not have metros especially where I am from, which happens to be a small town named Emmett. Despite my upbringing in a fairly small community I find myself far more comfortable in the city. I am not talking about a city like Boise, which happens to be the biggest city in my area. A real city, with you know... metros and stuff. Last week my Intern group and I took off in to the beautiful blue sky and landed in the middle of DC. We lived life as if we were big city folk for a week.

We had a blast my only complaint is that we were noticably out of towners which annoys me. I mean my group was fine, they acted like their normal selfs and I love them all. I just prefer to blend in when I am visiting places and not give off the foreigner vibe. I like getting myself into the character of the people and experiencing city life like they do day to day. Not always an attainable goal when you are with a large crowd from out of state.

The trip was an amazing one despite my failed efforts to blend in. We visited our state reps and prayed for them. The timing could not have been any better. Our senators and representives are stretched to their limits and are truely desperate for help. They could not convey how badly they needed God's relief. We got a small taste of what our leaders go through everyday. God has changed my life in the process of this past week and I can not see myself going back to that same person and God help me because I do not want to go back either.

Oh yes about metros and myself. I am the metro master. YES! Ok, ok not the master but I know how to work them and quite well I might add.

Pranks can be so vicious!

2008-08-29T16:49:00.000-07:00

Apparently someone yarned a few of my intern friends cars together last night. While they were away for the night cleaning a church owned campground some terrible vicious people yarned their cars together. Who would do such a naughty thing? I have no clue but all I can say is the person that worked the blue yarn was pretty impressive. She, I mean, this person weaved the most intricate beautiful spider webs in and out of their cars.
I do not know who would do such a vicious thing to these hard working young men. Especially while they were out serving the church. All I can say is the pay back is going to be pretty intense. Eeeeekkk! *gulp*

People, people please no pictures...

2008-08-25T21:06:00.000-07:00

I claim to be a big adventure lover and I often accept strange challenges to assure that I have one. I could list a few but I will not because today I am talking about a more recent one. One that involves a house, a roof, and a desire to conquer.

Story time...

Friday night was my friend Jennie's last night in town before she went back to college. A group of us girls decided to hang out and the topic of climbing on top of the roof came up. I told them I could probably do it, I mean come on look at those calf muscles in the picture provided. I am buff! Side note my name means strong and beautiful I try to live up to it every day just ask around.

After I was convinced and easily I might add. I think I was the most excited about it out of the three of us. I got pretty far well before I started to panic. Suddenly the conversation we were having earlier about climbing trees came in to my head. Sometimes you just have to climb for the sake of climbing even if it means you can't get back down. Jennie and Rebecca were cheering me on and encouraging me that we could always call the fire department.

I was pretty successful and almost made it until I got to the akward over hang. I was Standing on top of the meter box, which was sturdier than it sounds by the way, with my back against the wall. My arms were gripping the roof tightly I could see perfectly into the neighbors house where a cat was stairing at me while I attempted to do the impossible. I had to make a decision so I swung my leg up on to the roof and Rebecca snapped this brilliant photo. Looking at the photo now I wonder why I could not make it up there but the positioning and hand placements were all wrong to make this a successful house climb. I however was technically on the roof or my leg was. Lighter note look at the crazy psycodic look on my face for a cheap thrill.

The point of the adventure sometimes you just climb purely for the sake of climbing and if you can not get down once you get up there just call the fire department they have tall ladders.

Thank you for the adventures friends and Jennie have a wonderful year in Lewiston I love you!

The set up...

2008-08-18T12:10:00.000-07:00

Do you ever get the feeling that you are getting the set up? You know what I mean, do you not? Polite conversations filled with secret suggestions. Sly remarks and little comments and before you know it they are inter weaving your life with the life of another. My mother is the best at this or atleast she was. Her desire to marry me off has slowed down due to a combination of things...

1. I am an intern at my church and with that comes NO dating. Which is ok with me being as I am not ready, at all.

2. She now has a grand kid. Which relieves me of a lot of pressure. Thank you Lindsey!

3. Peace. I think there is finally a peace about marriage and her youngest daughter-ME.

My mom is not that bad in fact she has stopped all together which almost concerns me but not quite. It seems to me that most of my family have given up in general. My grandpa, my cousins, my siblings I do not get asked the boy question anymore. Which is great! I do not need no stinking man! Har har! Seriously though mildly concerning, I think it has to be a respect for my privacy. Yes, I will call it that.

My family have all given up on me now, clearly I am an old maid since I am a few months shy of 23 . My boat has sailed or something along those lines. This is of course a skewed and exaggerated misconception of my imagination. Oh but do not worry because I now have new people in my life who have stepped up to the plate. I finally came to the realization that one of my friends has been playing the part of a russian match maker trying to set me up with another one of our friends for months. There are others that I am with holding, all trying to set me up with the same person.
Do not say it is a sign, because it is not. We will call it what it is a distraction. You can always tell something amazing is around the corner by the life disturbances you get. I can tell you I am in for something good with all that has been going on in my life. Different story, different time. The point and moral of this story is plain and simple Please do not set me up. I am waiting for the divine set up! The one that only God is going to do. I do not care if you know some great guy from work, or your brother is divorce and he is a little lonely and your a little worried. That one definitely will not work. Even if he is a godly young man living a testimony of faith, love, joy, perseverance, wisdom, patience, and whatever other virtue you can think of. The point is I am not ready and I am ok with that. I am not angry at your attempts actually I am flattered that you would think of me. I mainly think the whole set up thingy is just hilarious.

HEY YOU KIDS...

2008-08-15T20:05:00.000-07:00

There is this game. You know what game I am talking about, come on. You know the one with the words. Where you try to guess. You know? Sort of ?! The game with the apples. Apples to Apples! A couple of years ago my family and I were playing that game, my mother put down a card that said hooligans. My sister who is like the champion of reading people put the card kids down and of course my mom picked it.

Well I was reminded of that time this week with some neighbor boys.

It was wednesday night. Sarah was driving me home because I do not have a car but you know that. My friend Ida was with us and we were getting out of the car when two little boys, KIDS, came zipping by on bikes making crude noises of the farting variety. They rode by us several times making these vulgar noises. Until finally I yelled with all my might, fury, and authority "HEY you KIDS CUT THAT OUT!!!" They coward in fear at the sound of my booming terrifying voice. Came to a screeching hault fell of their bikes in agony and shame of their terrible behavior. After a few minutes of sobbing the two boys, now forever changed, crawled to me on their knees and begged for my forgiveness. My valiant response was of course "Jesus forgives and he has called me to a hirer standard so... rise you hooligans your sins have been forgiven." They wiped their tear stained faces and hugged my ankles with gratitude. After a they groveled about how saintly I was they went on their merry little ways singing praises to the Lord for my kindness.

I waved goodbye to them with a huge grin of satisfaction on my face much like I am doing now to that little day dream. Ok ok ... so I exaggerate but only a little. What really happened is not quite as glorious. The two hoodilums did harrass us and I did in true Alaina fashion yell "HEY you kids cut that out!" The response however was not the same. It was in all truth LAUGHTER. I did not hear the skalliwags laugh although I am pretty sure they had to. Sarah, Ida, and I laughed hysterically without ceasing in fact I hardly got the words out before I erupted in laughter.

Nothing quite like...

2008-08-03T23:17:00.000-07:00

Burnt popcorn has to be one of the worse smells ever. It is a stinch that consumes you with disappointment and sorrow. The grievance leaves you empty handed and all your hopes of a delicious snack are crushed in one moment. All because of a few seconds of too much heat! Why am I speaking about this because there is nothing quite like the smell of burnt popcorn.

If you are thinking there is more to this story there really is not. I just wanted to say do not let life be like burnt popcorn. Nobody or very few people enjoy it so live to its fullest. Ha ha! Have a blessed and beautiful day!

We're just cruising...

2008-07-20T22:40:00.000-07:00

"Come on burn out!" Came the voice of a stranger on a warm July night. "NO she's too chicken." My passenger yelled in response. The streets were crowded with people and cars. I could feel the intensity of the night in the back of my neck. My arms were stiff and not willing to move. I was fighting the urge to just stop the truck right where I was and start crying.

I could hear the challenges of people all around me "rev' her up!" I was scared and to this I yelled "this is my daddy's truck." My passenger a close friend of mine and has been for many years was laughing. The laughter of my friend somehow comforted me and her words "Calm down" which is usually my line to her was soothing to my nerves.

Where was I? Go ahead and guess ... I was out enjoying the Emmett Cruise Night festivities. I have never been a big fan of watching old cars drive up and down streets. I however enjoy spending time with my friend Katie. She is one of those rare amazing people that can tell you anything about anyone. She is always in the know and always willing to give up information. Who is with who, where so and so is living, who went to jail, who almost died. You name it she has got the scoop. I often wonder what she tells others about me, but that is for another time. My point is that this woman has got a serious gift of gab. I like going places with her because we get to go where the people are and she does all the talking.

I am one of those socially akward people. I do not enjoy small talk and I do not like introductions. Both of which I try to get over by forcing myself into akward conversations sometimes I succeed and sometimes I flop. One of my greatest irritations is when God reminds me that he has called me to use my voice. He says this a lot. I do not fully understand the statement either. There are so many ways a voice can be used. Well I counteract that with "I better get wiser. I do not want to go around spouting folly all over people." All I can say is someday I will understand.

Have you ever regretted the way you treated people before? Oh of course you have I mean we are all humans and in that comes the privelage of making mistakes. Everytime I go to Emmett functions I see people I used to know and I am immediately repentive for the way I treated them when I was younger. I did not like people when I was in high school infact I hated almost every person I came in contact with. I thought terrible thoughts of justice, I called it, coming upon these people. How they were all sinners and how I despised the sin they were in. This from a christian. Of course a critical, severly wounded, and wrong christian. I am quite the different person now and most people have a hard time believing I was so condemning and mean spirited.

Now when I see people from school I do not know what to say. First I am lucky if they remember me because I thought it below me to talk to people of lower standards than mine. (Ha) Second what would I say "hey remember me? We were in french class together. I could not stand you. Infact I thought terrible, evil thoughts about you almost everyday and could not wait for the day I graduated and never had to see your face again. Well I guess I did not get my wish because here we are talking anyways. Oh but I promise I have changed I am sure you are an outstanding citizen and I would love to get to know you for real." Well if that does not get the conversation rolling I do not know what will. So what do I do know? I ride on the skirts of my dear friend Katie. She does the socializing and I stand there smiling.

This really affects my life in general. I have a problem. I do not know how to talk, react, or treat people. Apply this to my life as a christian - living a life of example is not enough. Words need to be spoken that back the attitude or outlook up. I need to learn to speak. I may not be a glamorous speaker or the most entertaining, but having a voice is one of the most important tools of a christian.

Here are some scriptures on the voice in general...

He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin. Proverbs 13:3

A wicked messenger falls into trouble, but a trustworthy envoy brings healing. Proverbs 13:17

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:26

Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. Ephesians 4:15

But we continue to preach because we have the same kind of faith the psalmist had when he said, "I believed in God, so I spoke." 2 Corinthians 4:13

This is a way of encouraging myself and expressing my past. I have been thinking a lot about how I am to talk? What I am to say and how I should come across. Where am I placing myself in the car? Am I the person willing talk to people as we pass by? Or am I the stiff uncomfortable type relying on other people to speak up for me? Unfortunately right now I am the latter, but I have faith that I will not always be so akward.

2008-07-15T12:41:00.000-07:00

I was a mad sciencetist. Boiling concoctions, mixing potions, and bringing joy to children everywhere. This past week our church hosted our Vacation Bible Experience. The theme was Slime Lab and I got to be the fun lady with the dry ice. Every morning kids would be oozing with joy and excitement as they saw me enter the room with my cart. Exclaiming "this one needs more ice" and "ooooh what is that?" I had such a blast.

Which took me back to my Vacation Bible School experiences. Take away all the glitz and glamour of VBX and you have my low budget summer fun. I loved VBS as a child and one thing I remember the most was a lesson on tithes and offerings and how God would give back to you what you have given to him. I was 8 and I was saving up for a radio with a tape deck. That is all I wanted and asked for until finally I was convinced that I should save whatever money I could squander for this remarkable invention that would catapult me into the modern 1990's.

The concept that the speaker introduce was easy for me to grasp. With the understand that giving to God my heart's desires lead to greater blessings I came back the next day with all my money saved for that glorious radio. It seemed like an exorbitant amount of money to me and with childlike faith I gave it away.

I did get my radio by the way it wasn't until christmas, but I remember the excitement when I received it. I joyfully exclaimed that God had given to me what I wanted and how he blessed me. The 6 month time lapse never crossed my mind just the generosity and greatness of my Provider.

The reminder of this story comes with good timing for me. After spending a large portion of my time, money, energy, and more for God. I have wondered why I have not yet seen the return. I did not see my radio for 6 months but I knew it was coming and I recognized God's gift when it was given to me.

How long will it take to see the return of the seeds I am sowing now? 6 months? 6 years? 6o years? There are many bibilical examples of those who waited far longer than me. I do not know what the return will look like or when it will happen. I do know that I love God and that is why I have given this life to him. As far as blessings go I have so many it would be hard to count. Way more than the freckles on my face, arms, and legs combined. (That is a lot by the way.)

Don't buy cheap jewelry!

2008-07-13T14:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning I woke up with a simple message from God "don't buy cheap jewelry!" I was sleeping well when I had a dream that I was with a few people at a christian conference. We had just heard a speaker and everyone but me was impressed and excited about this man. We decided to go check out the speakers sales booth. It was pathetic. He had calendars with pictures of him in it, a sad excuse for a book, and jewelry. It felt like I was at a bad flea market. I had a pocket full of money which is how you know I was dreaming because I rarely ever have money. Someday I will, right now I am content relying on God. While looking at the jewelry I discovered some pieces that I liked and they were all under $2. I hestitated to buy anything at the realization that this great buy would leave me green yet I found one ring that interested me.

That was my cue to wake up. First thing I recall was God saying "what does that mean?" To this I replied "you don't want me to buy cheap jewelry."

I fell back into my deep slumber and woke many hours later. This interesting revelation has been on my mind since. God does not want us to settle. He does not want us to ask for the small. I think I have offended God in this way. He has not called me to normal, which I have known for some time. He has called me to greater things than cheap jewelry he wants me to ask for the real jewels. Diamonds, Saphires, Emeralds, Opals, or Jade my favorite.

This applies to the church as well. Last night I heard an incredible message about the bride of christ. How God has called us to do the incredible. Jesus told us this, “I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father." John 14:12. There was an analogy of a husband leaving his wife for a few days and coming back to find that a. the household is well and his wife cared enough to make the home a comforting place to return to. Or b. the wife waited around the house for her beloved to return doing nothing. We anticipates Jesus' return but we have a job to do in the mean time. Not just waiting but working, making sure our beloved returns to find that all is taken care of.

I am guilty offending God with my pitiful requests. He has a bigger plan and the time has come to stop asking for cheap jewelry and to start investing in real treasures. I believe God is raising a generation that will really chase after what matters. A seeking generation that longs for God's wisdom rather than man's. So start asking BIG. Start asking for miracles and wonders. Ask for what you never expected or thought could happen because it will.

What do you do when you don't know what to do?

2008-06-26T21:54:00.000-07:00

Today my roomate told me I sleep too much and my showers are unbareably long. Why do you need to know this? Really you do not but it goes a long with my current life style. Over the last nine months I spent countless hours around my church as an Intern working, learning, seeking God, & growing. I did not call the church my second home but rather my first. I grew so comfortable and so happy there.

I graduated from my Internship at the beginning of the month. So what did I do with my new found freedom? Well...

1. Quit my current job for starters due to discomfort, unsettled nerves, lack of peace. I knew I was done. God and I have a habit of quiting jobs before I know the back up plan. This is not the first time infact I think I am getting used to this place. It is actually quite liberating. A quick way to learn trust.

2. I spent a wonderful year with a group of young ladies discipling and teaching them. I loved investing time in them and they all have sadly out grown me. They have moved on to the life of high schoolers now. So I am left without little Timothy's to teach.

3. I went to camp which occupied some time. Oh yes and there was preparation which filled up a great amount of time. So that was almost two weeks of work.

4. Went to my parents house - several times. Emmett is great and all but there is only so much a person with out a car can do there. Like sit at the house. Yep.

5. I feel I should mention a good chunk of this month was spent suffering from withdrawals from not being around church enough. So I walked to church quite often to find comfort and to ease my excited nerves.

Now you can see how I have grown accustom to long showers and very late mornings. I really am not as pitiful as I have made myself out to be but I do not know what I am doing or where I am going.

So what do you do when you don't know what to do? Wait, yes I guess that is the answer. Wait on God. Rely on Him. Start a blog?! Listen to crazy music?! (Like I am doing now.) Talk to family. Learn something new. Give God a chance to talk!

Journal entries from me as a 13 year old

2008-06-23T17:24:00.000-07:00

It was August 1999. I was 13 and these are the real accounts of my first retreat to the ocean. My sister Lindsey convinced me to keep a journal of all our adventures while we were on vacation. Why am I retelling them to you? Well how else are you suppose to know the inner thoughts of a 13 year old LAIN? So here it is...

The Journal entries are in black and my current thoughts and comments are in red.

Day 1 August 1,1999

After hours of traveling we finally reached New Port, OR. While we were looking for a hotel (my parents do not believe in reservations this part of the Shaw family vacation experience) we met a man that just so happened to look like the flock of seagulls guy. "And I ran. I ran so far away... I couldn't get away." Finally we found a hotel and ran into ZZ Top man. COOL!!! Then we went to Mo's it was really over rated. Who makes me a food critic? That opinion was not even my own.

Day 2 August 2, 1999

It all started very early we went to the beach and saw tons of starfish. Then we ate breakfast. Ex-A-lent-A! Weird kid! Weird kid alert! Then we went to Ripley's Believe it or Not Museum. Oh ya there was a two way mirror and I'll just say we got caught doing some pretty funny things. We humilitated ourselves by trying to do a trick that a sign said we most likely could not do. Teenage boys were standing on the other side laughing at us. I disgraced myself in public. We went to Dinner at Sea Hag's it was scrub-diddly-yub. I think I hear the alert sounding again. Then my sister nearly killed herself by jumping on to a wall that was all cliff with rocks and the ocean at the bottom on the other side. She did not realize this at the time. She had not gotten glasses yet. Posed for some pictures and went back to our hotel. After my sister near death experience. Can someone say photo op?

Day 3 August 3, 1999

Today we drove for about an hour to the Sea Lion Caves. Pee Wee was it stinky there. But it was cool because the Sea Lions were huge. We even saw babies. We saw The Grateful Dead guy and drove on to Florence. Oh I totally forgot to mention that I got a stuffed Seal while we were there. I named her Precious and annoyed my sister with her the rest of the trip. It was fun and in my opinion the right of the youngest child.

Day 5, August 5, 1999

Morning- Today is Thursday and we are going to Trees of Mystery. I was totally bored with journaling at this point. Sorry I was 13 who wants to write when they have a pet Seal and a sister to annoy with it.

Later- Well Trees of Mystery was cool and we ate at Adele's. Yummy, yum, yum! Best tar nation dinner. I was a strange kid. Did I mention that yet? By the way my 2 mon. old nieces name is Adele. Apparently that dinner had a lasting affect on my sister too. I mean it was the best tarnation dinner ever.

I also drew pictures. Unfortunately I can not show them to you but do not fret because I am going to interpret them for you.

First I drew a picture of Lindsey's so called boy friend. He had a large square head, square ears, crazy eyes, practically no hair, and two teeth. That pretty much describes her husband Mark. He he! I am so kidding Mark has more than two teeth.

The second picture was of my brother Dustin and his german girl friend a rather tall, large, and scary woman. She was over 6 feet, had squinty eyes, a large mouth, very little hair on her head, and she sported a shirt stating "I'm with stupid." My poor brother was not even there to defend himself he was at home working. Cruelity I tell you. Honestly I do feel a little bad about the drawing now. Sorry Dustin. :( I also feel obligated to tell you that this was not his real girl friend just a figment of our imagination. A couple weeks ago while I was at church camp Pastor Krist used the analogy of a 5' 4" young man (Dustin's exact heighth by the way) who was enamored by the beauty of a 6' 2" woman named Helga. Maybe this was prophecy or just God's way of making me laugh.

My sister and I always look back on this trip with fondness. Sometimes I mention Precious which makes her skin crawl. Or we talk about Helga, Flock of Seagulls Guy, or ZZ Top Man. That is why I am glad my sister convinced me to journal our trip. Even if I did leave out a lot of important details. That is why I had to make further comments. I completely forgot to mention the fact that I fell in love with the ocean and it was amazing. You know minor details that is all. It was just my first trip to the ocean. Weird kid! I am telling you. You have no clue.

2008-06-17T11:25:00.000-07:00

"The more words you speak, the less they mean. So what good are they?" Ecclesiastes 6:11 This verse right here pretty much sums up my speaking abilities. The more I say the less sense it makes and the more useless it grows. What started with good intentions ends with foolish babbling.
Despite my akward and sometimes feeble attempts to speak I still believe that I have a voice so this blog is my way of expressing inner thoughts. The only difference is now I have time to think through everything I want to say rather than spewing out stupidity.